TITLE: Once More Without Feeling
AUTHOR: Pink Rabbit Productions
DISCLAIMER: It belongs to other folks, includes nookie, and is tasteless as hell. Next question.
Summary: Danger, Will Robinson!

Three bodies moved together in liquid time, hair and flesh in varying shades blending together as they touched and stroked, their voices rippling with tension and need as entreaties overlapped and merged, filling the air with heated demands.

"Oh god ... that's it ... right there."

"oh yeah, do it, baby ... harder."

"Make me cum harder than anyone ever has before."

"Oh yeah, yeah ... yeah, baby...."

Barbara mouth slipped open, her breathing suddenly tight, fingers clamping down as it all slid over her.

Dinah couldn't do more than whimper, so hopelessly lost she couldn't think or react.

Which meant it was left to Helena to bring things home. No small task considering that she was bathed in sweat, trembling, and barely able to think straight. Some things will do that to a body. Still, she managed to grit her teeth, and maintain some semblance of control.

"Alfred, what the hell?!"

Dinah whimpered more loudly, burying her face in Barbara's shoulder. "Make it stop," she moaned.

Amazing how fast the elderly butler could move with sufficient motivation as he scrambled for the remote, clearly trying to get the video and the television shut off as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite as proficient with the video equipment as his younger charges, and merely raised the volume until the final moments of the 3 women on the giant, flat screen tv were probably heard several counties away.

Helena had the urge to join Dinah where the girl had her face hidden in Barbara's shoulder, hands firmly over her ears, moaning loudly. Barbara was supposed to be the senior member of this little partnership. She'd known Alfred the longest. She oughta be doing something other than just sitting there, staring wide-eyed at the three women on the screen, the youngest of whom might be sixty if she was a day. Oh well, at least no one could ever accuse Alfred of wanting to rob any cradles if this was an example of his taste. All things considered, there was some reason to believe he preferred older women.

Much to everyone's relief, Barbara finally found the wherewithal to do something.

She flung a batarang, snatched from its hiding place on her chair, at the big screen TV. Glass shattered and it died in a hail of sparks, leaving four people vastly relieved and abruptly bathed in blessed silence. The relief was short lived and soon all of the participants were frozen and staring at each other, desperately wishing they were almost anywhere but where they actually were.

Well, except for Dinah. She kept her face firmly pressed into Barbara's jacket, fingers in her ears as she hummed, "Lalalalalala," as loudly as possible. She too wished she was anywhere else, but silent? No.

Alfred straightened himself, desperately struggling to regain a hint of utterly lost dignity. "I was under the impression that you were going to be rather ... later..." he managed.

Helena was impressed that his voice only cracked twice. She shook her head, looked at Barbara, who also shook her head. "Movie sucked," Helena said by way of explanation. "Unlike yours," she added, then recognized the unintentional double entendre. "Actually, it looked like yours sucked too," she said in some twisted attempt to lighten the mood, then desperately wished she'd just kept her mouth shut. "In a totally different way--"

"STOP!" Dinah screeched. Apparently just enough sound had made its way through, despite her best efforts, for her to get the gist of Helena's babble.

"Sorry," the brunette added, though she wasn't entirely certain what she was apologizing for. It wasn't like she'd done anything wrong ... for once. And this was actually worse than the time when Barbara had caught her with a porn tape enjoying it entirely too much. She'd been all of seventeen and it had been a good solid month before they'd been able to even look at each other. "I ... uh--"

"I'm ... uh ... I think ... that is..." Alfred began, only to fall silent, no more thrilled with the situation than they were. Finally, he drew himself to his full height, grabbing at the tattered remains of his dignity as only the very British can. "I think perhaps I should return to the manor ... much work to be done and all that."

Helena and Barbara just nodded in tandem.

It seemed like a good time for separate corners.

"I shall see you ... later," Alfred added, then fled. Amazing that a man his age could move that quickly when he was of a mind.

"Is it safe?" Dinah managed to ask well after the elevator had slid shut in Alfred's wake.

"I think so," Helena allowed, then frowned. "Though safe has suddenly become a very relative term." So much for the notion that the tower qualified as a security zone. Any thoughts along those lines that she'd managed to have since the upgrades in the wake of Harley Quinn's little break-in were now officially blown to hell. Clearly, the tower was a very dangerous place indeed.

"I gotta get a shower," Dinah proclaimed loudly, "and not the cold kind either ... the hot, scrub-till-you-bleed kind," she added, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding about her sudden need for cleanliness. Then she fled, scampering up the stairs in the direction of her room as fast as her feet would carry her.

When she was gone, Helena peered down at Barbara who was still just staring at the mess of the shattered TV, her gaze focused somewhere in a random distance. "Senior Citizen porn," Helena mused aloud, so poleaxed she wavered gently on her feet. "Who knew?" She looked at Barbara, her expression almost pleading. "Did you know about such things?" She wasn't sure what was more disturbing, the fact that the entire concept had somehow missed Oracle's all-seeing eye, or the possibility that maybe Barbara had known about it all along, but had been sparing her the knowledge. Though ... now that she thought about it, maybe sparing her would have been the kinder thing.

The redhead shook her head slowly, opened her mouth as if to answer, couldn't think of a thing to say, and snapped it shut as she shook her head again.

"And Alfred..." Helena added, then shuddered and hid her eyes behind her eyes.

Somehow deep in the bowels of a the tower, a noisy, Dinah-ish, "EWWWWW," could be heard echoing off the walls, followed by several comments about how she was never going to be the same, totally damaged for life, and how was she ever supposed to look at Alfred again.

Helena glanced over her shoulder toward the sound. "I know how she feels," she exhaled, too much in shock to even react that strongly. It suddenly struck her that Barbara hadn't said a thing since ... well ... since. She peered worriedly at the other woman. She'd leaned back in her chair and was gnawing absent-mindedly on her thumbnail and staring into the distance with a shellshocked expression. Helena leaned down into her lover's personal space. "Um, Barbara, are you okay."

Full lips parted, and Barbara drew a breath to respond, her eyebrows moving up, down, and sideways in a cacophony of tumbling emotions, though no actual words came out. Amazing how something so utterly silent could seem so loud. Finally she just shrugged and sighed heavily.

"Great," Helena muttered. "He's turned you into Silent Bob ... now I'll probably turn into fucking Jay, and start talking a mile a fucking minute ... a massive dork-o-rama trying to get sex every thirty seconds and saying nonsensical shit like snootchie bootchies--" She skidded to a halt as Barbara tugged on her coat sleeve.

Russet eyebrows drew together in a forbidding frown, and the redhead shook her head.

"Sorry, my bad," Helena murmured. "I watched Mallrats and Dogma the other night ... and it just sorta happened."

A slender hand rose in an indication of understanding, then dropped back to the redhead's lap. She still occasionally randomly moved her mouth as though she was going to say something, but so far, nothing.

Helena thought about it for a long moment, then finally looked down at her lover. "This is worse than Harley Quinn, isn't it?"

Barbara didn't look up, just nodded in confirmation.

Another minute or two passed, then finally Helena looked down at Barbara. "Please, say something," she begged, getting a little worried.

"Bruce always said Alfred had his fair share of secrets," Barbara said at last, her eyebrows shooting up, then dropping back down into a frown as her teeth dug into her lower lip. "Apparently, he was right." A moment passed, she drew breath, started to say something, but discarded it unspoken.

Under different circumstances, Helena might have enjoyed seeing her lover struck so utterly and totally silent, but ... under the circumstances---namely the images that were now permanently burned into her brain---it wasn't worth the price. She sighed heavily, glanced at her watch, shook her head as she noted the time. "Bedtime," she murmured with far less eagerness than normal. Looking at her partner, she cocked her head to one side. "You wanna ... um...."

Barbara just shook her head violently and Helena looked relieved.

"Me neither," the brunette admitted. She tried to think of the unsexiest---was that even a word, probably not, and who cared anyway---thing they could do to occupy their time. Cards were out---too evocative of strip poker after all---showers obviously weren’t a good idea, no sweeps because she always got horny when she pounded the hell out of some perp, TV was just too damn suggestive, and besides the good one wasn't in such great shape anymore. Chess? No, because Helena loved to watch Barbara contemplate each move. Maybe--

"I think" Barbara said at last, interrupting Helena's train of thought. "I'll be reprogramming the Delphi if anyone needs me."

Great, just like the redhead to escape into the wilds of computer code. "What'm I s'posed to do?" Helena whined. She still had way too many images caught in her mind. "I mean ... I may never be the same." She sounded almost exactly like Dinah.

"The plumbing still needs some work, and if you hurry you can shut off the hot water before Dinah's finished with her shower." Nothing like a nice bout of tormenting the younger girl to get Helena through the rough times. Normally, Barbara tried discourage that sort of thing, but under the circumstances, they could all use the distraction.

"Ooooo, good idea," Helena enthused, bounding off in search of the biggest wrench she could find.

Moving to the computer, Barbara sighed, buried her face in her hands and whimpered, then abruptly giggled very softly. Actually, the whole thing was pretty funny now that she thought about it. She was still musing on the perversities of her life when Dinah's furious bellow broke through the tower---thank god, she didn't have the Canary Cry.


Huntress's innocent, "I was just working on the plumbing Harley Quinn's men damaged," soon followed.

Chuckling softly, Barbara cranked up the Delphi as the fight raged through the upper floor. It looked like they were going to survive the latest disaster.


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