Staring Into the Abyss
Sam felt the warmth beneath her hands dissolve as the cool feel of steel penetrated her consciences. She felt a shiver run through her as she attempted to open her eyes. An overwhelming ache coursed throughout her body as she managed to roll slightly to her side as she opened her eyes.
The first thing to come into focus was the gray steel that her cheek rested upon. She allowed her gaze to travel along the floor until it ended at the wall. For a brief moment she attempted to hold on to the remnants of the dream she had temporarily escaped too.
She heard a noise and the sound of footsteps echoed as a door slide open to admit her tormentors. She felt hands grasp her as they yanked her unresponsive body up to meet their master. She felt herself hang limply in their grasp, the agony coursing through her as she raised her head to eye her chief tormentor.
These moments had become a sort of game for him. He was well aware that the device he used had a side effect that caused hallucinations. Sam had already drifted in and out of other false realities. She had thought the first would be the cruelest because it had been the first. She had thought that after surviving the first false memory she would be better equipped to handle the rest. As she held on to the last tendrils of her memory with Janet she found she was wrong.
The moments she became aware of her status as Apophis's prisoner had become a source of enjoyment for the Goa'uld. Sam would struggle to hide her despair at still finding herself a prisoner and he would take delight in always ferreting out the slight reactions she had. It had become such an exercise in amusement for him that he had almost stopped most of his interrogation just to torment her as he attempted to probe the dreams she had escaped too.
Sam felt what little strength she had drain from her as she anticipated the interrogation. She felt Apophis reach out to grasp her chin and raise her face up so that her eyes meet his.
"I see that you have been away again. Have I told you that no matter how far you go you will always wake up to me?" he said silkily, as he trailed a finger along her jaw tracing it down her neck.
"So, where were you today? It took the healer much longer to bring you back from your sleep. What was the name I heard you speak as you finally arose? Janet?" he asked with a leer as he awaited Sam's reaction.
Sam felt a nausea rise within her followed by a white-hot anger as Apophis spoke Janet's name. She fought down her immediate reaction as she continued to hang in the Jaffa's arms. She could sense his movement as he paced slowly in front of her, contemplating his next move. She had ceased to react to his taunts after the first few encounters that followed her awakening. But instead of deterring him, it had only caused him to move on to find more sensitive points to probe. It had become a game of how much could she endure before he finally hit a spot sensitive enough to cause a reaction.
Sam let the silence drag as her trepidation grew. She knew as the sessions wore on he would need greater satisfaction in his dealings with her. It was only a matter of time before he grew bored and killed her. She felt herself stiffen involuntarily as he finally came to rest in front of her. She shuddered as he reached out a hand to once again force her to meet him eye to eye.
Sam met Apophis's gaze unflinchingly as she awaited his next move. It wasn't long before his all to familiar hand came up to inflict another round of brutal torture. Sam's body went rigid as the pain coursed through her. She felt the involuntary scream ripped from her as she struggled weakly.
Janet had been enjoying the quiet of the morning as she sat in the kitchen. She was preparing to take another sip of her coffee when Sam's scream tore through the house.
Janet shot to her feet the cup falling from her numb fingers. The scream had been unlike anything she had ever heard before. Her momentary paralyses broke as another scream followed this one much lower than the last. Janet rushed out of the kitchen, bounding up the stairs to Sam's room.
She flew into Sam's room coming to a halt next to the bed. Sam's body was rigid, her face twisted in a mask of pain. Janet quickly gripped Sam's shoulder trying desperately to reach her. Sam thrashed and Janet lost her grip repeatedly as she continued to call out Sam's name. After what seemed like an eternity, Sam's movements slowed and the moans became small whimpers. Janet tried to hold back the panic noting that Sam had been unresponsive for almost 5 minutes. If she were unable to bring her to a coherent state shortly, she would call for an emergency transport from the base.
Janet continued to gently shake Sam, calling her name at the same time. She felt a wave of relief when Sam finally began to respond. Her eyes fluttered opened darting around the room. Janet tried to get her attention needing to understand what was going on. Sam's eyes finally came to rest on her but there air of detachment sent a shiver through her.
Janet waited as Sam continued to lay there unmoving her eyes locked on her. Janet reached out to touch Sam, surprised when Sam drew back from her touch.
Sam lay there uncomprehending for a moment as she took in her surroundings. She realized that Janet was sitting very near her trying to get her attention. Sam ignored her as she continued to survey the room. Finally, she looked at Janet not really believing the woman was with her. She flinched and withdrew as she felt Janet's cool touch. She saw the hurt cross Janet's face at her reaction and felt a momentary pang of regret.
"Sam?" Janet spoke breaking the silence.
"I heard you screaming and when I got up here you seemed to be in convulsions. I was unable to pull you out of whatever was going on. Are you alright?" Janet asked as she reached out to take Sam's wrist, noting the rapid heartbeat. She wanted to get her bag and do a small check but she was afraid to leave Sam's side. Sam's silence was beginning to scare her more than the screams.
Sam continued to lie there unwilling to lose herself in the hope that this was real. She watched as Janet's concern grew and she felt her defense beginning to weaken. Janet continued to talk trying to rouse some reaction from Sam. When Janet once again reached out to gently stroke her face, she felt the last of her reserves fail.
Janet felt a small wave of relief when Sam did not withdraw from her touch. She took it as a good sign and continued to speak quietly to her. She was slightly buoyed when Sam's eyes finally seemed to focus on her. For the first time since she had arrived she felt Sam was fully aware of her presence. She was slightly alarmed as Sam's eyes brimmed with tears.
"Sam, It's alright," Janet tried to reassure her. She felt Sam struggle in the bed as she tried to rise. Janet leaned over surprised at Sam's weakness. She managed to get Sam into a sitting position alarmed at the amount of aid Sam had needed. Even now Sam rested weakly against her as the tears continued to fall.
Sam had struggled to sit realizing this must be real because she had never been weak in any of the hallucinations. She relied on Janet's help, feeling the weakness of her body. She felt as if she had really just endured torture at the hands of Apophis. She felt the comforting strength of Janet's arm wrapped around her as she rested her head against her shoulder. She managed guide her arms around Janet, drawing comfort from the embrace.
Janet felt the light touch of Sam's hands as her arms slid around her in a weak embrace. She could feel the tremble in Sam's body as the sobs continued to wrack her. Sam's clothing was soaked and Janet could feel the occasional shiver as the chill of air hit her. She continued to hold Sam rocking her gently as she waited for answers to her questions. The time passed slowly for Janet as she tried to make sense of what was going on.
Sam huddled in Janet's arms as she came to terms with reality. Her torture at Apophis's hand had been far worse than she could ever admit to anyone. In moments like these when she was unsure of where she was and what was real, the reality of what she had endured came crashing down.
Janet felt a shift in her arms as Sam moved back slightly. Janet traded a long look with her as she awaited her words.
"Janet," Sam started surprised at the weakness in her voice. "I was back on Apophis's ship." She paused, trying to decide where to go from there.
"When he had me and was trying to get information the device he used was..." Sam paused, not really having the words to go on with her description. "After I would pass out, my mind would drift and I would find myself other places. It felt so real that it would always be a shock when I would wake up, lying on the floor of my cell. But he knew and he would torment me with the knowledge that even when I thought I had escaped, I really hadn't," Sam managed brokenly.
Janet listened to Sam's description of torture at the hands of Apophis. She felt her fury with the Goa'uld growing. She felt a pain at the despair in Sam's voice.
Sam continued to watch Janet as she spoke bringing up a hand to rest against her cheek. "Are you real, Janet?" Sam asked simply.
Janet felt a jolt at Sam's touch and her words. She wanted to reassure her so badly, but she knew nothing she said would convince her one way or the other. Sam would believe only herself.
"Sam, I can't begin to understand what happened on that ship. The only answer I have is I am here and I will always be here for you," Janet said, hoping it would be enough for Sam.
As fragments of the dream resurfaced, Sam allowed her fingers to slowly stroke Janet's cheek. She watched the play of emotions across Janet's face as she tried to reassure Sam. The steady beat of Janet's heart fluttered beneath her fingertips, serving as a calming influence on Sam's ragged nerves. She watched as Janet registered the change of her touch and she felt a tremor run through her.
Janet realized that at some time in the last few minutes Sam's touch had changed from comfort to caress. She watched as Sam focused on the actions of her fingers. Janet tried to calm her breathing as she was swarmed by a multitude of emotions. She could not take the constant shift of their relationship. She was finding it more and more difficult to walk away from moments like these.
"Sam?" Janet said as she reached up to still her hand. "I need to know what is going on with us. Am I imagining these moments because as soon as they pass it is like they never happened until the next one comes along? Every time we grow a little closer, it is that much harder for me to refrain from being near you. I have really come to care for you deeply and I need to know where this is going," Janet confessed.
Sam was surprised when she felt Janet reach out to still her hand. She listened to Janet's words, feeling slight skips in her chest at her confession. "I do care for you, Janet. More than I had realized until recently," Sam paused, unsure of what to say next.
"I am not sure where to go from here, Janet. I've never felt this much for someone before. It's overwhelming and I am scared," she finally admitted after a pause.
Janet felt elation at Sam's words. Finally, they had both admitted what they were feeling. She had been scared that Sam would withdraw when she had pushed her, but she hadn't. Janet felt giddiness spread through her and she tried to keep the smile off her face. "It's all right Sam, I'm scared too. But I can't think of anyone else I would rather be scared with," Janet said seriously.
Sam nodded at Janet's reassurance feeling an overwhelming tenderness. She was still aware of Janet's hand lightly grasping hers and she brought it to rest against her cheek. She lowered it to her chest as she leaned in to gently kiss Janet.
Janet was touched by Sam's gesture and felt her breath taken away as Sam moved her hand so that it rested upon her chest. She could feel the steady beat of Sam's heart against her fingers. Its pace increased as Sam moved in to place a gentle kiss upon Janet's lips. Janet felt a shudder roll through her at the contact. It was a slow and undemanding kiss as their lips melted into one another.
Sam finally broke away, leaving a small trail of kisses down Janet's neck. She came to a stop at the small hollow and rested her head against Janet. Sam still had Janet's hand grasped within her own and she gave it a gentle squeeze as they both drifted in the moment.
Janet had enjoyed the closeness of Sam over the past few minutes. She felt another wave of tenderness pass over her as she nuzzled Sam's neck. She let herself rest a moment more before lifting her head to address Sam.
"I don't want to get up, but we have to get ready to pick up Cassie," she said gently.
Sam felt the loss as Janet moved away to speak. She nodded her understanding, as she began to pull away. She watched as Janet leaned back to allow her eyes to travel Sam's form fully. Sam could see the shadow of worry that still hovered over Janet's gaze. She continued to gently grasp Janet's hand, as she raised her other to cup Janet's cheek. No words were spoken as they continued to watch one another.
Finally, Janet broke the contact knowing that they needed to get ready to pick up Cassie. As she stood, Sam released her hand. "Do you need any help Sam?" she asked.
Sam shook her head as she exited the bed. She moved slowly to about the room gathering her things. "I think I can manage," she said.
Janet nodded, "Well, just let me know if you need anything. I will be in my room getting ready," she finished. She left after receiving Sam's acknowledgement.
Janet did her best to hurry through her routine so that she could get back to Sam. Showering and dressing were an awkward affair, with her wrist but she felt she had made good time. She completed the last of her buttons as she surveyed herself in the mirror. She was almost satisfied with her appearance. She had done quiet well despite having one hand. She put the last of her things away before leaving her room to check on Sam.
Janet realized Sam was not in her room as she gave it a quick once over. She headed down the stairs following the sounds from the kitchen. She entered to find Sam working on a new cup of coffee.
"Are you feeling any better?" Janet inquired.
"Actually, Yes," Sam answered her, seeming almost surprised at her response.
"I am really looking forward to picking Cassie up," she said glancing at her watch.
"So am I," Janet responded as she picked up her keys off the kitchen counter.
"It is still a little early, but I'm ready to go if you are," Janet said.
Sam nodded sitting her coffee cup down on the counter as she followed Janet out the door.
"Do you want me to drive?" Sam asked.
"No, I'll be fine," Janet replied as she locked the house and headed for the car. If it had not been for the episode this morning, Janet probably would've let Sam drive. At this moment however, she was still worried about her and felt it was best to keep her away from critical operations such as driving.
They both seated themselves comfortably into the car and within moments they were on their way to the airport. The silence stretched on as Janet drove. She was about to began a conversation when she felt Sam reach out and gently slip her hand under Janet's injured one.
Despite the fact she couldn't grasp Sam's fingers, the mere contact sent shivers through Janet. She let the silence continue on as they traveled to the airport.
They arrived at the airport with almost 15 minutes to spare. Janet found a spot in short term parking near the terminal. Both women exited the car and tried to keep from rushing into the terminal. Sam caught a glance from Janet and as she turned her head to face her saw a wide smile. It was hard to tell which of them was more excited by Cassie's arrival.
They waited impatiently at the gate as they listened to various flight arrivals. After what seemed like an eternity, they heard the arrival announcement for Cassie's plane. They both shuffled around the entry area as the plane docked at the gate and the passengers began to exit.
They both caught site of the young girl at the same time. She turned her head as she heard her name called out simultaneously. She rushed over to meet Sam and Janet finding herself swept up in alternating bear hugs.
Sam finally released her after an extended hug allowing her to catch her breath.
Cassie zeroed in on Janet's wrist almost immediately. "Janet, what happened to your arm?" she asked inquisitively.
"Oh, it's nothing I just managed to fall over that large flower vase we used to have on the back porch," she answered casually.
Cassie turned her attention to Sam next, "How long will you get to stay?" she asked in her usual straight forward manner.
"I am off until next Monday," Sam replied brightly.
Cassie nodded happily, taking each of their hands in one of her own as they headed for the exit. Sam thanked their luck that Janet had sent Cassie with a carry-on bag, making it possible for them to skip baggage claim.
They were soon at the car and Sam deposited Cassie in the back, securely fastened in her seat belt. She put the bag down in the floor before taking her seat in the front.
The ride back to house was in complete contrast to the ride to the airport. Cassie chatted happily about her trip and Sam and Janet traded amused glances during Cassie's account.
Once they had reached the house, both Sam and Cassie disappeared upstairs to unpack her things.
Janet watched their retreating figures as she stood at the end of the stairs. It was always like this when Sam was around. Cassie always adhered herself to Sam, knowing that she could be leaving at any time.
Janet decided to make a small lunch not expecting they would take much time to eat. She found she was right when she called them a short time later, only to find a rapid blur blow through the kitchen emptying the plates and glasses in record time before returning to the upstairs.
Janet smiled as she finished picking up planning on spending the rest of the day catching up on a few minor things. She glanced in on Cassie and Sam occasionally as the day passed. She never felt left out during days like these understanding that Cassie felt a need to dominate Sam's attention. Due to Sam's commitment to the SGC, Cassie did not get to see her as much as she wished. So when Sam had free time Cassie would be glued to her at the beginning, finally agreeing to share her with Janet after the first day or so. Janet smiled at the thought.
The day passed quickly into evening. Janet began the nightly ritual of chasing Cassie into the bath. No matter what planet she had come from, she still shared that common childhood trait of loathing the nightly bath. She let Sam take over getting Cassie cleaned up as she turned down her bed and picked out her pajamas.
She found Sam leaning against the bathroom door grinning as she exited Cassie's room.
"And what are you so happy about, Captain Carter?" Janet teased.
"She got me to promise a bed time story," Sam admitted knowing full well that Janet was well aware of her inability to say no to that nightly ritual.
"She got you to promise it, huh?" Janet asked skeptically. "I'll bet," she said as she handed the night clothes to Sam.
"We both know you are a pushover Captain Carter, so why don't you just admit it?" Janet continued with a grin.
Sam smiled at Janet's comment an answering grin on her own lips. She slipped back in the bathroom leaving Janet standing in the hall.
Janet continued to smile as she traveled to her room. She changed into her nightclothes taking a moment to brush out her hair. She heard pounding footsteps as she turned to find Cassie launching herself into her arms. She felt the quick hug from her young charge before she quickly slipped out of her arms. She heard a short "Night Janet" as the young girl disappeared into her room. She caught a quick glimpse of Sam, as she crossed through the hall.
Janet smiled again deciding to work on a few things in her office before retiring to bed. Actually, she conceded to herself she was hoping to stay awake long enough to see Sam to bed.
Janet put the final touches on her editing for the CDC report. She saved the final copy and pulled the disk out of her computer. She would drop this by the SGC tomorrow and see that it was sent up to the PR section. She stretched and yawned as she checked her watch. She was surprised at the hour and was sure she had missed Sam on her way to bed. She was disappointed that Sam had not stopped in to bid her a good night.
Janet stood shutting down her system before turning off the light. She traveled down the hall and realized Cassie's light was still on. She frowned hoping Sam had not decided to allow Cassie to stay up so late.
Janet paused as she reached the doorway understanding why the light was still on. Cassie was snuggled under her covers sound asleep. Sam lay beside her a book resting in one hand as she also slept on oblivious. Janet watched as both rested their faces relaxed and unguarded. Janet moved quietly into the room trying not to awake either of them.
She gently removed the book from Sam's grasp. She then picked up a blanket to lightly cover her. She lay a gentle kiss on Sam's temple before moving over to Cassie. She snuggled the covers around the young girl before placing an identical kiss upon her temple. She stood looking down at both of them a small smile playing upon her lips. She reached out to turn off the light feeling a deep peace as she watched them sleep.
Sam drifted on the edge of awareness. She struggled to hold on to the comforting warmth that surrounded her as she became aware of her surroundings. As she opened her eyes she realized she was still in Cassie's room. She noted the blanket she was wrapped in knowing it had not been there earlier. She pulled it closer as she enjoyed the silence of the house.
Sam glanced over at the clock on Cassie's nightstand to check the time. It would be a few more hours before either Janet or Cassie would be up Sam thought. She looked over to the sleeping face curled up beside her. She felt an unguarded grin rising to her lips as she watched Cassie sleep. For just this brief moment everything felt right and Sam could forget the events that had brought the young girl into her life.
Sam realized she was not going to be able to fall back asleep.
She quietly moved out of the bed trying not to disturb it's other sleeping
occupant. She paused to lightly tuck in the covers and place a soft kiss on
Cassie's cheek before slipping out of the room.
Janet made her way back up the Cassie's room, not at all
surprised that she was still encased in the blankets. She peeled back the upper
layers managing to finally find a head. Another round of coaxing met with the
same irritated response. Janet prodded a bit further before returning to the
Sam and Janet made the trip back to the complex in relative silence. Janet would occasionally sneak a glance at the woman seated beside her trying to guess what she was thinking.
Janet had been given no indication of why Sam's leave had been cut short. She had relayed exactly the information she had been given when she hung up the phone. Sam had not said much since then. She had gathered up her things and been ready to leave within fifteen minutes. Janet had locked up the house and followed Sam out to the car.
Janet glanced over at her companion once more. It was almost as if a wall had come down between them at the mention of returning to the complex. Janet wanted to talk to Sam, but Sam's silence deterred her.
Janet slowed as they approached the gate. Once they had been recognized Janet proceeded into the complex finding an empty parking space. She had barely parked and turned off the ignition when Sam quickly vacated the vehicle. Janet watched as Sam grasped her bag from the back before shutting her door. Janet hurried to keep pace with her as she headed for the entrance.
"I am going to drop my bag off before I head to the command center," Sam finally spoke.
Janet nodded her acknowledgement as Sam peeled off when they exited the elevator. Janet continued on to the command center searching for any of the SG-1 team. She was directed to conference room one by an airman when she stopped in the Command Center.
She found Daniel and another man in the conference room when she arrived. Daniel rose when he spied her.
"Hi, Janet, is Sam with you?" he inquired.
Janet nodded as she answered him, "She stopped by her room to drop off her bag."
Daniel nodded, noticing Janet discreetly eyeing the man seated at the table. "Janet, this is Martouf, he is from the Tok'rah. He has come through the gate to relay some sensitive information that they didn't feel was safe to transmit. Jacob asked that he speak with Sam while he was here." Daniel finished.
Janet looked once again at the man the reason for Sam's requested return clear. She was about to speak when Sam entered the room. Janet watched as the man immediately rose in Sam's presence. She also noted Sam's abrupt stop as she caught site of him.
"Martouf?" Sam said the surprise evident in her voice.
Janet was riveted to the spot as she felt the tension fly around the room. You could almost feel the draw between the two and Janet fought down the irrational jealousy she felt run through her.
"Sam, I will be in the infirmary catching up on some paperwork if you need me. Oh, and Daniel I would like to look you over if you have a few minutes," Janet stated, wanting to get out of here and find out who this man was.
Daniel gave her a quizzical look and she hopped her wouldn't question her request. She felt a small waive of relief as he followed her lead. Within a few moments they were back in the infirmary. Janet directed Daniel to a bed as she pulled off her light jacket. She returned picking up a small pen light as she stood before him.
"How's your wrist?" he asked as she began her brief checkup.
"Much better than the other night, Thank you. Have you had any problems since you were released? Headache, nausea, memory loss?" she questioned listening herself heatedly as she examined him.
"So, who is this Martouf? I am guessing from the way they reacted to each other that Sam has met him before," Janet probed casually.
Daniel nodded oblivious to Janet's distress. "We met him when we made initial contact with the Tok'rah. Apparently his mate was Jolinar, you know the Tok'rah that borrowed Sam's body," Daniel added.
"Anyway from what I saw on the planet because of his mate he and Sam seem to share this...." Daniel shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know but you can feel it whenever they are around each other," he finished.
Janet nodded noncommittally as she felt her heart pound at the information. She tried to push her reaction back, knowing it was irrational but she couldn't help it. Daniel was right there was something that could almost be physically felt between the two of them when they were together.
Janet finished the last of her checks assigning Daniel a clean bill of health. She had just given him permission to leave when Sam and Martouf came in the infirmary. Their presence momentarily distracted her and she heard her voice trail off as she took in Sam's relaxed smile as she looked over at Martouf.
"Janet?" Daniel's voice finally registered and she looked over to him blushing at her distraction.
"I am sorry, Daniel, you're free to go." she said.
Daniel nodded, slipping off the bed and heading for the door.
Janet looked back to Sam and Martouf. "Hi, is there something I could help you with?" she asked politely.
"Janet, the device my father left that was used on Daniel and I. Where is it?" Sam asked.
"It's locked up in my office. Why?" Janet replied.
"Martouf has some experience with the problem I was having yesterday morning and has offered to assist me in correcting the problem," Sam said.
At any other time Janet might of been amused in the rather offhand manner that Sam had been able to describe her reality check yesterday morning. However, right now as she watched the two of them she found all humor gone.
"I'll get it for you," Janet said as she traveled the short distance to her office. She returned shortly with the device held in one hand. She gave it to Sam, interested in exactly what Martouf's plans were.
He eyed her injured limb with interest as Sam inspected the small device.
"Perhaps it would also be useful for you to master the use of this healing device," he said, looking to Sam.
He looked to Janet as he spoke, "If you would allow it, I could show Samantha the proper use of the device. She has the ability to use the device due to her prior joining."
Janet nodded her agreement as she watched Sam turn to Martouf for guidance. He took the device from her and gently slipped it onto one hand. It melded to Sam's fingers like a second skin and Sam eyed it curiously. Martouf turned to Janet ushering her over to the bed that Daniel had recently vacated.
He gently took her injured arm placing it on the sheets. He then brought Sam to stand before the bed, taking a hand and guiding hers to rest over Janet's. Janet could not hear the words he was speaking to Sam, only the comforting lull that his tone seemed to carry. She felt a tingling in her arm as Martouf guided Sam's hand back and forth over the injured area. Janet tried to ignore the sight of his hand gently grasping Sam's as he guided her. She tried instead to focus on the sensations running through her arm. She had witnessed many of the powers of the various artifacts salvaged by the various teams, but this was the first time she was a recipient of the healing process.
After a few minutes Martouf stopped Sam's movements and eyed Janet. She raised her arm removing the splint as she flexed her finger experimentally. She was surprised to find all the pain had receded. She looked up to Sam, smiling. "Well, we better keep that thing under wraps or I may be out of a job," she teased.
Sam smiled back and was about to answer when she was interrupted by a comment by Martouf. She looked back to Janet.
"Do you mind if we borrow the on-call room. I would like a little privacy." Sam asked.
Janet nodded although the last thing she wanted to do was afford either of them any privacy.
"Actually, Sam, I am going to stop by your room I think I left my necklace in there the other day."
Sam nodded as she led Martouf to the on-call room. Janet left the infirmary still amazed by the process that had healed her so quickly. She headed for Sam's room, hoping she would be able to find the missing jewelry quickly. She wanted to return to the infirmary as quickly as possible to limit the amount of time they spent alone. She quashed that thought as quickly as it came, refusing to resort to such immature tactics.
She entered Sam's room, surveying the slight disarray from her hurried return. She searched the obvious places, hoping that she might find the necklace but was quickly disappointed. She took a seat on Sam's bed after giving up on the search.
Her mind wandered to the two she had left in the infirmary and she felt a hand squeeze her heart at the thought that Sam might feel something for Martouf. Things had been going so well. For a brief time Janet had even begun to forget that they had a life that they would have to return too. She reached out, picking up one of Sam's pillows bringing it to her face so that she could inhale the intoxicating scent that surrounded it. She was lost in thought as the door opened.
"So, do you always smell other peoples pillows or am I special?" she heard Sam say.
Janet dropped the pillow, turning a delightful shade of red as Sam watched her.
"I thought you would be longer," Janet managed, trying to figure a graceful way out of her embarrassment.
Sam smiled as she walked over to Janet. "Well, as you have seen, the device works quickly," she said.
Janet stood, nodding as Sam moved closer. She tried to hide her nervousness but failed miserably.
"Is something wrong, Janet? I have been feeling this tension from you since we arrived back on the base," Sam asked.
Janet debated on a flippant remark before deciding on telling the truth. "Watching you with Martouf is difficult. I feel this overwhelming jealousy whenever I look at the two of you together. It's obvious there is something between the two of you."
Sam nodded an understanding coming to her eyes. "Janet, it is true I feel this draw for him because of Jolinar. I feel this closeness because of her memories."
Janet felt her heart sinking as she heard Sam's words. Sam moved closer as she spoke. She raised her hand up to cup Janet's cheek as she continued, "But all I have to do is think of you and the difference between a memory and reality becomes painfully clear," she finished.
Janet felt her breath catch at Sam's words. She found herself leaning into Sam, raising up to capture her lips. Janet's hands reached for balance as she deepened her kiss, wanting to convey all of her feelings to Sam in that one act.
Sam felt a wave of emotion over take her as Janet's lips met hers. She felt Janet's hands gently grasp her, burning through her shirt. Sam felt her every sense respond to Janet's presence. She felt Janet turn her, forcing her to take a seat on the bed. Janet paused for a moment, trying to take a breath. She looked into Sam's face and saw the same breathlessness reflected. She pushed her back onto the bed, following until she covered Sam's body with her own.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you whenever you are around? You drive me crazy, Sam," Janet confessed her voice a husky whisper.
Sam felt a thrill run through her at Janet's confession. She allowed her hands to rove along Janet's body, taking their time in her exploration. She heard Janet's sharp intake of breath and paused her movements, allowing her fingers to gently caress the peaks along Janet's shirt eliciting another response.
Janet found her heart hammering as Sam continued to tease her through her clothing. She felt a groan working its way up from her chest.
Sam watched Janet's face as her actions continued to torment her. She slowly began unbuttoning the shirt letting her finger trail against the skin below it briefly. She felt Janet finally surrender, her arms having given up as she lowered herself to rest upon Sam.
Sam smiled as she gently guided Janet over to her back as she finished with the last of her shirt buttons. Sam parted the shirt amazed that she was actually following through on a fantasy that had occupied many a restless night. She lowered her head to nuzzle Janet's neck. She could feel the rapid flutter of her heart beneath her lips. She felts Janet's hands come to rest firmly in her hair as she continued her journey. She moved slowly down Janet's body feeling the slight shivers running through Janet as her lips touched her skin.
Janet didn't think she could take much more. The emotions crashing through her coupled with the sensations her body was experiencing were pushing her to the edge of overload. She struggled to breathe as she felt Sam's warm breath through her bra. She stopped breathing altogether as she felt San gently rub her lips across the thin material her other hand making lazy circles on Janet's other breast.
Sam felt Janet quiver as she gently teased her nipple through the silky material. She was about to remove the garment completely when a sharp knock at the door froze both of them in their tracks.
Sam paused, eyeing Janet before looking to the door.
"Don't you dare answer that, Sam," Janet said firmly.
Sam looked back to her altogether happy to comply with her wishes. She ignored the door returning her attention to the spot she had left off.
Another sharp knock accompanied this time by a voice again disrupted them.
"Sam, I know you are in there. Open up," the familiar voice of Daniel Jackson called out.
"I am going to kill him," Sam muttered darkly as yet another knock sounded at the door. She rested her head on Janet's chest a groan of frustration escaping her lips.
She moved up to place a lingering kiss on Janet's lips. "I will get rid of him and be right back," she promised as she stood.
Janet lay there trying to catch her breath as she heard a murmur of voices. Sam reappeared a few minutes later. "I have to go to the gate room and see Martouf off." Her frustration was evident. "If I don't go it will be obvious something is up"
Janet felt her frustration keenly as she sat. Sam came over to pull her into a tight embrace. "One of these days we are going to finish what we start," Sam promised. She refastened Janet's shirt smoothing out some of the wrinkles before placing a light kiss on her lips.
"Well, Dr. Fraiser, shall we see our visitor off?" Sam joked as she led the way to the gate room.
Janet sat down on Sam's bed, catching her breath as she watched her slip out the door. Once the door had firmly latched behind her, Janet found herself falling back against the pillows a small groan of frustration escaping her lips. Her body still tingled in all of the places Sam had just touched. If she closed her eyes for a moment she could almost still feel the touch of Sam's fingertips.
Janet's eyes snapped open as she rapidly stood. If she didn't stop thinking of what had just happened she would never manage to get out of Sam's room. She took a deep steadying breath, trying to focus her thoughts. Once she felt she had succeeded she exited Sam's room and headed for the privacy of her office.
Sam fought to keep the wide grin that wanted to surface off of her face. She felt the lightness in her step as she made her way to the gate room. Although her senses still voiced their frustration it didn't detract from the euphoria coursing through her.
Sam entered the gate room moving over to stand beside the General as he was speaking to Martouf.
Once Hammond was finished Martouf turned to face her. "I have enjoyed seeing you again, Samantha. I will tell your father that you are doing well," he promised with a smile.
Sam smiled back grasping the hand her had placed out to her. "It has been a pleasure for me as well, Martouf. Tell my father I look forward to seeing him in the future."
Martouf bowed his head briefly before releasing her hand. He nodded to the other personnel in the room as he made his way up the ramp to the gate. He stepped through and was swallowed up by the shimmering lake.
When the gate closed it took Sam's eyes a few seconds to adjust to the resulting dimness. She looked over to Hammond noting her was doing the same.
"Sir?" Sam said, stopping Hammond as he was turning to leave the gate room.
"Yes, Captain Carter," Hammond replied.
"Sir, I would like to be returned to active status as of today." Sam requested.
Hammond eyed her as he replied, "I would be happy to grant your request, Captain, but you will have to be cleared by Dr. Fraiser before that is possible."
Sam nodded, "I don't think that will be a problem, Sir. I will check with Colonel O'Neill after I see Dr. Frasier."
"Very well Captain, Let me be the first to offer you a premature official welcome back," Hammond said with a small smile before leaving the room.
Janet continued going through the various reports that had piled up while she had been on leave. She had managed to deal with the bulk of the routine paperwork but she wanted to give special attention to anything pertaining to treatment of personnel on missions. She looked up as she heard a rustle at her door.
Sam had stood in Janet's doorway unnoticed for a few seconds watching her as she worked. Sam found herself drawn to Janet's hands, watching them as she wrote while flipping back and forth through files. Sam felt a warmth work its way through her as she remembered the strength of those hands and exactly where they had been just a short while ago. She moved restlessly in the doorway as she recalled the feel of Janet's skin against her own fingertips.
Sam stilled as Janet looked up making contact with her eyes. She entered into the room taking a seat in front of her desk.
"So did Martouf manage to make it off all right?" Janet asked as Sam nodded her reply. "And I assume I don't need to schedule time for an autopsy for Daniel?" Janet continued dryly, remembering their interruption.
"No," Sam managed through her laughter.
"I asked the General to return me to full active status and he directed me to you," Sam continued.
Janet sat for a moment as she heard Sam's words. "Sam, do you really think you are ready to go back into the routine? I mean just yesterday morning..." Janet paused as Sam held up a hand.
Sam leaned forward, resting her hands on Janet's desk. "Janet, I spoke to Martouf about the memories and the nightmare. He told me it was to be expected but that usually with a second treatment the effects could be limited to a more controllable level. So that the memories surface only in the subconscious state, when I am sleeping. So they won't have the overpowering effect like before. He said eventually they will fade but for now they should be no worse than a bad dream and definitely won't interfere with my normal everyday abilities." Sam could hear the eagerness in her voice as she tried to convince Janet that she was ready to return.
Janet sat listening to Sam's enthusiasm as she attempted to convince her that she was ready. Janet was worried about the state she had found Sam in yesterday morning despite Sam's assertions that Martouf had aided her. She also felt a momentary twinge that Sam had confided her ordeal completely to him. She batted that thought off to the side, understanding why Sam had chosen to discuss the situation with him.
"Sam..." Janet trailed off, her mind working on the problem before her. "I will check you out, if you pass the physical I will return you to active status but I won't clear you to jump for at least another week." At the look of protest on Sam's face, Janet held up a hand. "I want some more time to observe you as far as what happened yesterday," Janet explained. She saw a look of resignation cross Sam's face as she nodded her understanding.
"All right," Janet said standing. "Why don't you go ahead into the exam room. I'll have Davis bring you something to change into. Just give me a few minutes."
"Oh, and, Sam" Janet said catching her as she was leaving the office. "I am sorry but you father gave me this before he left. I put it in my lab coat which I left hanging here. I am so sorry I didn't get it to you earlier."
Sam took the offered envelope, "That's ok, Janet, you might have been a little distracted, I understand," Sam said with a grin.
Janet watched as Sam made her way through the infirmary to the private exam room. She summoned Davis over instructing her to get Captain Carter a gown and to take a set of X-rays of the injury sites then let her know when that was done.
Janet placed the rest of her paperwork in order so that she could pick up where she left off when she returned. She checked her watch knowing she needed to leave soon so that she would arrive home around the same time as Cassie. She wondered briefly whether or not Sam would accompany her as well.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a short knock on her door. She looked up to find Davis, "The X-rays are in the box near the door and Captain Carter is waiting for you." she said before returning to her duties.
Janet nodded and made her way to the exam room. She stopped briefly to pull the pictures out of the box before she entered the room.
Sam was sitting on the exam table waiting patiently as Janet entered the room. She glanced at her briefly before putting the pictures up to study them. Once she was satisfied she turned her attention to Sam.
Sam watched as Janet entered the room an air of detached professionalism surrounding her. Janet studied her X-rays for a few minutes before finally coming over to examine her directly. Sam answered the variety of questions that Janet posed to her as she ran through the various exercises.
Janet moved through the exam at a steady pace confident that Sam had done an excellent job of recovering physically. She had her run through a variety of physical dexterity exercises along with neurological tests before reseating her on the table. She pulled out a pressure cuff and her stethoscope as she prepared to recheck her vitals.
Sam ran through the paces for Janet trying to ignore the distraction of her touch. She was all too aware of every breath that she took as well as well every touch no matter how professional it was.
Janet frowned as she rechecked Sam's vitals. "Sam, are you feeling alright? Your BP is high for you as well as your pulse rate and respiration. Did you feel fatigued by the exercises?" she questioned as she waited for Sam's response.
Sam sat there slightly embarrassed that her reactions had been revealed so clearly. She felt a deep blush crawl up he neck as she looked at Janet. "Actually, Janet..... Well I think it's your fault." Sam said simply watching Janet.
At her uncomprehending look Sam dropped her eyes to Janet's free hand which was resting on her bare thigh.
She watched as a look of understanding crossed Janet's face followed closely by a deep blush of her own. She removed her hand quickly, "I am sorry, Sam"
She smiled at Janet's reaction. "I didn't say I was complaining," Sam teased, causing Janet's blush to deepen.
Janet stepped back her embarrassment growing by the moment. She wasn't sure how to handle this intrusion into her professional life.
"Well Sam, from what I can tell you are good to go as far as returning to duty. I am going to forward my report to General Hammond, but I am still limiting you duty to base activities," she finished.
Sam nodded, understanding Janet's concern. "You're the doctor." Sam teased.
Janet acknowledged Sam's playfulness. "Well, I'll let you get dressed and then I will be back with a chit you can give to the Colonel." Janet said as she left the room.
Sam continued to smile as she quickly dressed. She checked her watch knowing Janet would want to leave soon to meet Cassie as she got home from school. She had just finished with the last buttons on her shirt when she heard a discreet knock at the door.
Janet entered with a piece of paper in her hand. "Here you go this will get you back on to the duty rotation. The official report will be on Hammond's desk in the morning," Janet said as she handed the chit to Sam.
Sam put it in her pocket without looking at it. She stepped closer to Janet barely inches separating them. "So, Doctor, now that you know what you do to me just when you are near...are you going to tell me what I do to you?" Sam asked in a silky voice.
Janet felt herself sway toward Sam as her heart pounded at the tone in her voice. She felt the words roughly flow over her raw senses. "Sam, I can't, not here." Janet finally managed in a ragged voice.
Sam nodded understanding Janet's need to maintain a separation from her duties and her personal life. Besides she had her answer in Janet's strained reply. "How about dinner at your house?" she asked.
Janet nodded as Sam moved back giving her some room to breathe.
"I'll drive myself out. Is seven o'clock good for you?" she asked.
"That would be great. You won't be falling asleep reading to Cassie tonight, will you? " Janet couldn't resist adding.
"No, I have much more interesting plans," Sam confided as she decided to make her exit.
Janet rested against the table, amazed at the emotion that Sam seemed able to raise with just her presence. She took a few moments to regain her composure before returning to her office to finish her paperwork. She found her excitement at the approaching night begining to build as she once again glanced at her watch.
Sam stepped out of the shower, taking her time as she toweled off. Her mind drifted over the moments with Janet earlier in the day. She felt the warmth spreading through her as she anticipated meeting her tonight.
Sam took her time dressing. She fussed with her hair trying to make it behave before finally giving up to allow it to resume its normal pose. She eyed herself critically in the mirror, not completely satisfied with the image that returned her gaze.
Sam ran a comb once more through her hair before spraying on a little perfume. She exited the bathroom, unwilling to torture herself any further. She was surprised that despite all that happened between the two of them she was still nervous about dinner tonight. At times, she felt so in control of what was happening between them. But at a moment like this. she would feel all of the butterflies fluttering in her chest at the thought of Janet. She shook her head trying to focus on getting out of here and to dinner.
Sam threw the last of her things into her bag, quickly zipping it up. She paused, picking up the slim gold necklace that rested on her night table. She let it rest in her palm for a moment before slipping it into her jean pocket.
Sam exited her room and headed for the elevators. She had nearly reached her destination when Daniel rounded a corner nearly knocking her over.
"Hey there, Sam," he greeted. "I hear you have been cleared for limited duty."
Sam nodded, "Janet cleared me earlier," Sam answered, still in a hurry to reach the parking lot.
Daniel nodded, oblivious to Sam's impatience, "That's great, Sam, I am about to head out to town to get some dinner. Would you like to go?" he asked.
Sam cringed inwardly knowing that it might hurt his feelings if she refused him. Excursions out for dinner had become a bit of a regular past time for them both. "I am sorry, Daniel, but I am headed out to Janet's for the night. Can I take a rain check?" she asked.
"I understand, Sam, no problem," he said as he looked down, noticing the overnight bag for the first time. "Well, I don't want to hold you up. I'll see you tomorrow," he said.
Sam jumped on the chance to leave as she smiled at Daniel. "I'll see you tomorrow," she promised as she stepped onto the elevator.
Janet surveyed the kitchen making sure that everything was under control. The
dinner preparations had been finished and most of the meal sat simmering, nearly
ready to serve.
Sam pulled up to the house feeling the anticipation of seeing Janet run through her. She stepped out of her vehicle pulling her bag after her. She quickly walked up the steps reaching the door as it opened.
Janet smiled as she opened the door. She had heard Sam's vehicle pull up as she was coming down the stairs.
"Well, I see you managed to make it," Janet teased as Sam stepped through the door.
"Me turn down a free meal, I don't think so," Sam shot back.
Janet smiled as she shut the door.
"Where is Cassie?" Sam asked as she surveyed the hall.
"She has that sleep over at the Donaldson's house. Remember, it's their daughters birthday," Janet reminded her.
Sam turned to look at Janet, "That's right, I forgot. I guess we are on our own," she said.
"I hope you are not disappointed," Janet replied playfully.
"Not at all," Sam replied seriously. She held Janet's
look for a moment before turning. "I'll put my stuff in my room and be
Sam looked at her doubtfully as she changed the subject. "So, how is
Cassie coming along in Math?" she questioned.
Sam breathed heavily as she held Janet close. Her senses cried out for more
as she felt Janet's hands roving along her body. She could feel Janet's lips
moving to gently caress her neck, she felt a shudder run through her as she felt
her tongue gently brush against her skin.
Sam fumbled slightly with the fastener on Janet's bra, distracted by the attention she was currently receiving as Janet's lips made their way down her body. She stopped breathing for a moment as she felt Janet's warm breath against her skin as she hovered teasing her with anticipation.
Sam's eyes shot open as the shrill ring of the phone broke her concentration. She looked down as Janet looked up both of them wanting to ignore the insistent ringing. Janet gave a small groan as she reached out to the night-stand, picking up the phone. She glared at it as she punched the answer key.
"Hello," her voice was a bit short as she took the call. She handed the phone over to Sam without a word.
Sam took the phone, watching Janet as she spoke.
"Hey, Daniel," she listened for a couple of minutes nodding as she watched Janet move to return to the spot she had just vacated. Sam let out a small gasp as Janet gently nipped at her through the material of her bra.
"What, no I'm fine," Sam struggled to speak in a level tone as Janet continued to tease her mercilessly as her other hand wandered over Sam's skin occasionally pausing in sensitive places until Sam was nearly breathless.
"Daniel, I've got to go. I'll see you in the morning," Sam managed as she hit the off button and tossed the phone across the room. "No more interruptions. Although, I am beginning to think Daniel has some sort of radar when it comes to the absolute worst time to interrupt us," she finished.
Janet laughed as she returned to give Sam a lingering kiss. "What did he want?"
"SG-1 is jumping at 1100 hours tomorrow, I'll be running the MALP." Sam said as she finally met success in freeing Janet of her bra. She slipped it off tossing it in the same general direction as the phone as she ran her hands over the newly exposed skin.
Janet felt her skin tingle as Sam's hands ran over it. She reached out to shut off the light but found her hand captured by Sam's before it reached the switch.
"Don't, I want to see you," she said simply.
Janet looked back to Sam, "How do you do that?" she asked softly.
"What?" Sam asked.
"Manage to say the right thing every time that makes me melt," she replied.
Sam caressed her face as she answered. "I must be inspired," she said as she pulled Janet closer to her.
Janet let go of any further attempts at a conversation as she lost herself in the moment. She trailed down Sam's body pausing to gently tease her as she felt Sam's fingers firmly plant themselves in her hair. Her free hand trailed lightly along Sam's skin, making a journey down to her thigh. She made lazy circles barely brushing the skin as she felt Sam shift beneath her.
"Janet..." it was barely a whisper but the emotion behind her name send a jolt running through her.
She moved down Sam stomach, taking her time. She managed to remove the last of their clothing with minimal interruption as it landed on the floor.
Sam was focused on every touch she received from Janet. She fought for some sort of control but found the smallest groans escaping as her arousal grew. Her breathing was ragged as Janet slowly kissed the insides of her thighs. The anticipation was agonizing as she waited.
Janet could feel the tautness of Sam's body beneath her lips as she moved closer to her destination. She moved slipping one arm beneath Sam's thigh so that her hand rested on her stomach. She felt it captured in Sam's own firm grasp a few seconds later.
Janet nuzzled Sam's wet center taking a few moments before beginning a slow exploration. She ran her tongue along the silky folds, feeling Sam stiffen for a moment before relaxing against the bed. Janet searched for just the right spot knowing she had reached it when she felt Sam's grasp tighten. She focused on the small area feeling Sam begin to shift beneath her.
Sam was completely focused on the woman in her grasp. She felt her excitement building as the slow even strokes continued. Her heart pounded as Janet slowly picked up the pace.
Janet felt an almost imperceptible thrust from Sam as she slowly picked up her pace. She allowed her free hand to trace a path up her inner thigh. She slowly made her way to Sam's center, trying to gauge the response before slowly slipping in one finger. Sam's response was immediate and Janet slipped in a second one, marveling in the intimacy of her touch and the surrounding tightness of Sam's body.
Janet renewed her attack as Sam continued to squirm beneath her. She continued to pick up the pace as she felt her approaching a release.
Sam twisted in Janet's grasp, her body screaming for release. She felt the build up reach a critical point as she felt the waves wash over her. She felt the involuntary shudders run through her body as she struggled for breath.
Janet had slowed her ministrations gently flicking her tongue over the sensitive nub enjoying the quivers that ran through Sam with every caress. She felt a weak tug from Sam's hand, causing her to lift her head.
She slipped her hand out of Sam's grasp and worked her way up until she was face to face with her lover.
Sam watched as Janet slowly moved up until she was face to face with her. She encircled the smaller woman, pulling her closer.
"That was.... I don't have the words for what it was," Sam finally admitted.
Janet smiled as she rested in Sam's arms. "I am glad you enjoyed it," she teased. She felt Sam's grip tighten as she turned, pinning her to the bed.
Sam rested against Janet, her larger frame dwarfing the other woman. She slowly savored the taste of Janet's skin as she ran her tongue along the hollow of her neck. She could feel the rapid flutter beneath her lips as Janet's heart pounded.
Janet's arousal grew as Sam slowly moved her lips over her skin. She ran her hands over Sam's frame amazed that every touch could further serve to arouse her. She felt her back arch as Sam began teasing her breast gently pulling on the aroused nipple before releasing it only to recapture it once again.
Sam enjoyed the responses from Janet as she continued to tease her as she moved down her body. She followed Janet's example and took her time in reaching her final destination.
She felt Janet's immediate reaction as her tongue gently probed, looking for that sensitive nub of flesh. She found it with little difficulty as she felt Janet stiffening beneath her. She marveled as the reactions she could produce as she teased her before she heard a frustrated request.
"Sam," Janet finally found her frustration as Sam played with the various responses she could get out of her body. She ached for a release and as far as she was concerned right this minute was not the time for research. She smiled as she heard a muffled, "Sorry," before Sam returned to focus her attention on one area.
Janet closed her eyes as she felt the steady increase of Sam's pace. She was slightly surprised when she felt the appearance of Sam's fingers paused over her opening. She shifted slightly and felt Sam gently slipped them into her. ‘She has learned fast,' Janet thought as she enjoyed the sensation of Sam within her. It served to heighten her arousal and she found herself moving beneath Sam as her excitement built. Within moments, she was shaking beneath her as she clutched the bed sheets. She bucked as Sam continued to cling to her, drawing out every last spasm before finally slowing to a gentle caress.
She mimicked Janet's earlier actions, moving up until she was face to face. She lay on her side allowing her hand to gently rest on Janet's stomach as she watched her recover, her breathing still ragged. Her eyes wandered over the bare form as various muscles still quivered from their recent exertion. Janet opened her eyes, taking in Sam's appraising glance.
Janet took Sam's hand in her own as she lay there a chill beginning to set in now that their bodies were beginning to cool. Sam noticed her slight shivers and pulled back the covers for them to slip under. Sam flipped off the light as Janet snuggled with her back against her placing her hand firmly between her breasts.
Sam could feel the slower beat of Janet's heart as she held her closer. She rested her head on the pillow as she enjoyed the warmth radiating from Janet's body.
"If tonight is any indication of things to come, trust me you don't have to worry about ever disappointing me," Janet confessed.
Their joint laughter filled the room as they both drifted in a comfortable silence. Sam felt her eyes growing heavy but she fought off the fatigue wanting to hold onto every minute she could. She could feel the involuntary grin pasted on her face and found any attempt to wipe it off was unsuccessful. She felt Janet turn in her arms to look at her.
"What?" Janet asked taking in Sam's silly grin.
"I don't know I can't seem to stop smiling," she answered. Sam laughed as Janet met her with her own answering grin.
"I know what you mean. You think we'll actually be able to pull this off on base. Right know I think even Maybourne could figure it out if we were in the same room," Janet offered up.
"I don't know, but it's definitely worth a try," Sam answered with a brief squeeze.
Janet nodded snuggling comfortably in Sam's arms as they drifted off to sleep.
* * * * * * *