By Rodrigo (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Buffy was heading back to the library after she finished patrolling. It had been a slow night, only one little vamp , one little vamp that couldn't put up a fight even if his life, well, unlife actually, depended on it. Maybe they had better things to do, God knows that even the undead have a better love life than I do, Buffy thought bitterly. It was valentine's day and The Slayer was a little depressed over the fact that she wasn't going to spend it with the one she loved. Well, technically you are, but not in the way you want to, a part of her brain reminded her. It was true. She was going to spend the night with the person she was deeply in love with, there was only one tiny little problem, this person had no idea that she was the object of the slayer's affection. At least I hope she doesn't.
Willow, her best friend, her best GIRL friend, and ,as of late, the center of The Slayer's world. Buffy knew for sure that Willow would never do anything to hurt her if she ever found out about these feelings , but she also knew that the redhead could never return her love, so she just kept her feelings to herself, savoring any kind of affection that the hacker would throw her way.
When she first found herself thinking about Willow as more than just a friend she tried to distance herself from the other girl, but she soon found out that it was a lot easier said than done, since they lived in the same dorm, went to the same university, frequented the same places, and of course, the was that little matter of them battling the forces of darkness on a daily basis. After a while she just gave up. Even if she could stay away from the redhead she really wasn't sure if she wanted to. So love took its toll and as the time passed Buffy found herself acting like any other person in love did. During the days she spent as much time as she could around Willow, many times going out of her way to do so, and at night she occupied her dreams with images of the hacker. "Man, I got it bad," she whispered as thoughts of the redhead filled her mind. Buffy was so wrapped in her own world that she almost didn't hear her friend calling out for her.
"Hey Buffy, wait up" Anya shouted, catching up with her friend.
"Hi Anya. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I'm going to meet Xander at the library," Anya said turning her head to the blonde before continuing, "We're going to the Bronze, they have the whole valentine day's special tonight and Xander asked me if I wanted to go with him, seeing as he is my boyfriend and everything and this day is all about boyfriends and girlfriends and sex. This is my first Valentine's Day, as a girlfriend I mean. When I was a demon this used to be the best night of the year, boys buying bad gifts, cheating, it was fun..." She said, reminding the good ol' days. "Anyway, how about you, what are you going to do tonight? This must be a really hard day for you, humm, seeing as you don't have a boyfriend or anyone."
"You know, you really need to work on that tact thing," Buffy responded, suddenly wondering if a girl had to be tactless to get anything from Xander. "I just finished patrolling and now I'm heading to the library. I'm taking Willow home and then we're going to watch a few videos. Since we're both flying solo we're not really into the Valentine's Day spirit, you know, so we thought it was a good idea to do something together," Buffy said.
"Oh, so you two are going to spend the night together? When you think about it, it is kind of fitting. There's a lot of sexual tension going on between the two of you, it was about time you did something about that. Everybody was starting to wonder when the two of you were finally going to work things out" Anya said, not noticing the increasingly angry expression on The Slayer's face. Maybe that's why she was so surprised when she found herself being shoved against a tree, an angry Buffy facing her.
"Anya, listen very carefully to what I'm going to say cause I really don't like to repeat myself. First, there are no 'feelings' between me and Willow that need to be 'assumed', okay? Second, you and the others should really start bothering you own business and third, if I hear you keep talking about this I'll forget that you are one of the good guys and will kill you. Get it?" Buffy said through clenched teeth, backing off and freeing the other girl. She knew that she was lying, she knew that there were plenty of feelings to be assumed, at least on her part, but she also wasn't about to admit to the former demon that she was in love with Willow, she already had had a hard time admitting it to herself.
If Anya still had her demonic powers she probably would have hurt the Slayer pretty badly, but as it was she just got as far away from Buffy as she could, as she searched her memories for what could be considered a good apology for what she had said. She knew that Buffy was still really confused about the things she was feeling towards her best friend, and maybe she shouldn't have talked so much about the subject.
"Buffy, calm down, okay? I-I'm sorry for that. I'm still new at all these things and sometimes I go a little to far." Buffy raised her eyebrows at that and she corrected herself, "Okay, okay, I go a little too far a lot of time, but I'm learning." Buffy didn't respond , she just gave Anya a little smile and nodded her head. Anya accepted that and they started moving once again. The rest of the walk was very silent, neither of them saying a thing. Each wrapped up in their own thoughts. After about ten minutes they got to the library. It was empty.
"Will, Giles, anybody here?" Buffy yelled.
No one answered at first, so they just settled themselves, if there was anything weird going on they'd come to the library. Twenty minutes passed and nothing, and with that the girls started getting a little impatient. Anya, by know being tortured by thoughts of Xander running off with every female in Sunnydale, got up and started pacing around the place.
"I can't believe it. Xander ditched me. Our first Valentine's Day and he ditched me. If I still had my power I'd..." Anya said exasperated before being enveloped by strong arms.
"You would what? Kiss me to death?" Xander joked, trying to hug Anya without Anya without dropping his snacks. "No one can resist the Big Xand-man," he continued with a grin. Buffy, knowing that if she didn't said something she'd have to end up watching another bickering session between her two friends, or worse yet, a make out session. Urgh. "So, where are the others? Willow said she'd meet me here."
"Oh, Giles left, he mumbled something about needing to stay away from horny teenagers. Willow is at the computer lab, she went to check a few class things on the computer" The boy responded before giving in to his girlfriend's advances and kissing her.
The Slayer was about to make a comment about how gross it was for her to have to watch to that display, when Willow entered the library.
"Okay, how many times do I have to tell you people that this is a library, not a make out room." Willow said as she neared Buffy. Upon hearing that they pulled apart and turned to face Willow, that was staring reproachfully at them.
"You know Will, you're starting to sound a lot like Giles," Xander said before sitting at a chair by the table.
"'I am not"
"Yes you are." "Am not."
Buffy, noticing that the argument could go on for a long time decided to change the subject. "So, shouldn't you guys be going to the Bronze? It's way past 9:30."
"Shit, we're going to be late," Xander said before he went to retrieve their coats from Giles' office. The couple quickly put on their coats, said their good-byes to the others and rushed out of the library doors. "So, we should probably leave too." Will said after their friends left.
"Yeah" Buffy said, turning to look at her friend ."Oh wait, I need to give you something first." Buffy finished giving Willow a small package.
Willow opened it and squealed in delight when she saw what was inside. "Oh God, it's The Shadows book," she exclaimed before enveloping her friend in a tight embrace. "Thank you so much. Where did you get it? This book has been lost for decades," she said after they finally broke the embrace.
"You're welcome. Do you remember that three-eyed demon that I fought last week? Well, he kindly offered it to me, you know, after I punched him till he bled," Buffy said with a smile on her lips.
"It's great, thanks, but you really didn't have to."
"I wanted to. It's Valentine's Day. The day you give or do something special to the person that you care about. So I thought 'The whole point of Valentine's Day is the fact that it's a day in which you cherish someone you love, someone you care about'. So I asked myself 'If I wanted to give something special to someone I care about, who would I give it to?' Well, the only person I could think of was you." Buffy said. By the time she finished she was convinced that she should never have given the present to Will, and even more when she saw her friends surprised face. "You think I'm a freak don't you," Buffy finally asked, after a few minutes.
"Yeah, yeah, I think..." Willow said. When she saw the hurt look on her friend's face she explained herself ."You are a freak, but you know what, so am I," Will said before pulling a small box out of her bag and handing it to Buffy. "Today I spent the entire day thinking about how people are wrong when they say that this day is just to be celebrated between lovers not friends so after much thought I decided that this year I would make my own concept of valentine. So I got this for you ."
Buffy opened the box and inside she found a golden necklace. Willow took the necklace and then told her friend to turn around so she could put it on. After she finished Buffy turned around again and hugged her friend tightly, tears falling from her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered in Willow's ear before she let go of the redhead.
"You're welcome" Willow said, a little disappointed at the loss of contact.
"You shouldn't have. It must have cost a fortune"
"I wanted to, besides it's not like I couldn't afford it" Willow said with a grin. For a few moments they just stood there, staring at each others eyes 'till Willow finally broke the silence. "So, shall we go?" "Yeah, let's go"
Their ride home was very uneventful. During the way they talked bout what they had done during the day and decided what they were going to eat for dinner.
"Okay I'll call the pizza place while you take you shower and when you finish I'll take mine while you wait for the delivery guy, okay?" Buffy asked Willow while dialing the phone.
"Okay," Willow responded, already heading for the bathroom.
The time passed and soon they were settling in to watch the movies. Willow sat in bed with her feet under her leg while Buffy sat in the same position by her side. Around the middle of the movie the Slayer started feeling uncomfortable. Willow, noticing her friends discomfort moved to the head of the bed and told Buffy to lay down and rest her head on her lap. The Slayer happily obliged. For hours they just sat there watching the movie and enjoying each other's company.
When the last movie ended Willow looked down at Buffy and noticed that her friend had a sad look on her face. "Hey, what's with the sullen expression?" Willow asked, brushing a strand of hair from her friend's face.
Buffy was startled out of her thoughts by Willow's voice. She turned her head and looked at her friend, trying to decide whether she should tell her best friend what was bothering her. "I was just wondering... Do you think that there are people that go through life without ever finding true love? You know, without ever finding someone to truly love, someone to spend the rest of the life with?"
At first Willow was a little surprised at her friend's question but after taking a look at Buffy's face Willow realized what her friend was asking. "I do. I believe some people spend their lives looking for true love but never find it. But I'm sure you're not one of them. These people are the ones that more than anything want to be loved, but when asked to love don't know how to do it. Since love is the kind of thing that only works both way these people end up with no love at all. You're so different from these people. You love, you love with all your heart and all your soul. That's why I believe that someday you'll find your one. The one you'll want to share your happy and sad moments with, the one whose shoulder you'll cry on and whose arm you'll seek when you want to feel safe. The one you want to sleep and wake up with everyday...the one you'll give your heart to. Maybe this person will only enter your life in a few years, or maybe she already did. But one think I know for sure: it'll be worth the wait," Willow said, all the while looking Buffy straight in the eyes.
"I don't think I will. "Buffy said, her voice soft and low
"What you're talking about, of course you will. You just have to give it some time," Willow said, trying to convince her friend.
"You don't understand, what I'm saying is that I already found this person, I already found the one," Buffy said, sitting up and turning to face the redhead.
Willow's heart sank as she heard her friends words. She's talking about Angel. Even though Buffy never mentioned it, Willow knew that she missed her vampire ex-boyfriend. She had been there, she saw the romance developing, she had been the person that Buffy talked to during the good times and the shoulder was hers on which the slayer cried after things got bad. She was there through the love, hate, pain and passion, she knew the power of their love. For a long time she supported their relationship, always thinking that the two of them were made for each other, but somewhere over the past years something had changed, and now just the mention of her friends ex-honey ruined her day. It was not that she didn't like the vampire, she just didn't like what he represented. Every time she though about him, about them, she would remember she and Buffy would never have what the two of them had. Buffy would never love her the way she loved her creature of the night boyfriend. She didn't know why she was feeling that way, the only thing she knew was that every time she though about him she would feel a big pain in her heart. She was hurt, she wanted to cry, to yell, but somehow she managed to hold herself. She knew that her friend was expecting her to say something, to ask something, so gathering all the strength she could muster, she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Angel." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"No," Buffy responded while shaking her head, hands reaching up to caress Willow's cheek.
When Willow heard Buffy 's response she felt like a big weight was lifted from her chest, allowing her to breathe again.But now she was extremely confused, if it wasn't Angel, who could it be? Maybe... Yeah, like that would that ever happen. Buffy would never fall for someone like you. Get real. The internal debate inside her head lasted for a few minutes, until she got tired and realized that she had to know who her friend was talking about.
"Who?" The question was simple, small, but to Willow it was a question extremely hard to be asked, a question that no matter what the answer would be, was going to change her life forever.
Buffy knew that this question would come sooner or later, she had prepared herself, she knew what she wanted to answer but now that she heard her friend asking it she didn't feel so sure of herself anymore. All the fears and insecurities that didn't let her declare herself to Willow sooner came back haunting her. What if she doesn't feel the same way? She will never want to see me again. As these thoughts crossed her mind Buffy seriously thought about interrupting that conversation. She could tell her friend that she didn't want to say the name. Willow will understand. She was startled out of her thoughts when she felt the warmth of Willow's hand over her own, she stared at their hands for a few moments, noticing how their hands fit together and how a simple touch from the hacker could make her feel good. Buffy made her decision. Even if Willow didn't felt the same way she had to tell the truth. She raised her head slowly, and faced her friends piercing gaze. Their eyes locked.
"You." That's it, I said it.
Willow couldn't believe what she had just heard. Did Buffy really said what she thinks her friend said? It must be a dream, I'll wake up in a few seconds and none of this will have happened. I'll still be in love with Buffy and she still won't have a clue about it. Okay, why is it taking so long for me to wake up? It usually happens when she declares that she's in love with me. Well, maybe because you're not dreaming, another part of her brain yelled. Of course I'm dreaming. You're not. Come on I'll prove.
"Buffy, can you pinch me." Buffy gave her a confused look but complied. "Wow, that hurt." Okay, I didn't wake up, which means that I'm not sleeping. I told you so. "I'm not dreaming ... this was not a dream. Did you really say the things I think you said?"
"Yeah... yeah, I did." Buffy really didn't know what to think. Willow hadn't fled out of the room, which was a good thing, she just drifted to her own personal world for minutes and when she snaps out of it she asks Buffy to pinch her and then says something about being dreaming. Maybe she is thinking that this was a nightmare ... or maybe she has been dreaming about this moment too. Buffy was desperate to find out which one was true.
"Will, please say something..."
"Buffy, I don't really know what to say," Willow said, squeezing her friend's hand. "Which is kind of ironic considering the amount of time I spend thinking about this moment" she adds in a thoughtful tone.
"You've thought about this?" Buffy asked, a smile forming on her face.
"Buffy, I think about this, about you, every second of my day. I look at you and all I can think about is how much I want to kiss your lips, to hold you. Whenever I touch you I imagine what you be like to make love to you. Sometimes I look at you and catch myself wondering how you would react if you found out about my feelings for you." She stopped, thinking about what she was going to say next. "When I first realized that I was in love with you I was panicked. I mean, during my whole life I never had felt anything for another girl. But then you came along and everything changed. We became friends, best friends, and as the time passed I started loving you. It was not like the love I felt for Xander, but it also was not like the one I feel for you now. It was like a love between two best friends mixed with romantic love, you know, like one took off certain effects of the others. But then things started changing and this love I felt for you also changed. The romantic love started to become too overwhelming, and soon this balance ceased to exist and that was when I fell in love with you."
Somewhere during Willow's speech, Buffy started crying. She couldn't believe in what was happening. No more than an hour ago she was cursing herself for falling in love for someone that she could never have and now this very person was sitting in front of her, telling The Slayer that she loved her. Willow saw as the tears started forming in Buffy's eyes and gently reached her hand and wiped a tear that slid down her friend's cheek. Their eyes met and soon their lips brushed in a tender kiss. Willow's hands moved to the back of Buffy's neck, pulling her closer, as The Slayer started teasing Will's lips, that opened slightly. Their breathing grew more shallow as their tongues danced together. For several moments they just kissed, tasting each other 'til they finally broke apart, struggling for air.
"That was..." Willow said, still panting.
"Amazing," Buffy exhaled, overwhelmed by the intensity of the kiss.
"Yeah, amazing is a good word to describe it," Willow said as her lips curved in a smile.
Buffy smiled back at her but then her expression turned serious. "Willow, there's something I need to tell you"
Willow saw the serious expression in her friend's face and felt a cold shiver pass through her body, but she just tilted her head, willing Buffy to go on.
"Will, we've been best friends for years now. You're the person that I trust and love more than anybody. Since the day we met I knew that there was something special between the two of us, a kind of bond that would last forever. Sometimes I think what I'm going to be doing, where I will be in a few years and every time I think of myself doing something different, going somewhere different, but no matter where I am or what I'm doing you're always there, by my side. I would be lying if I told you that I knew exactly when I fell in love with you. I think that unconsciously I have always felt this way. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you Willow Rosenberg, I have for a long time now."
"Buffy... " Willow started to say only to be interrupted by the slayer.
"Will, don't say anything, just hold me," Buffy whispered before being pulled into Willow's arms. For a while they just sat there, holding each other. It was Buffy who first broke the embrace. She didn't say a word as she pulled slightly away from Willow and held out her hand to the other girl. As they entered Buffy's room the slayer left Will in the middle of the room and went to turn on her desk lamp, casting a faint glow over the room. She moved to position herself in front of the redhead. "I want to make love to you, Will," Buffy whispered huskily, stepping closer to Willow and wrapping her arms around the hacker's waist, pulling their bodies together.
Their lips met and soon they were kissing wildly. Buffy moved her lips to Willow's neck, nibbling lightly and let out a low moan as the redhead's hands crept under her shirt, gently stroking The Slayer's back. Feeling the need to taste Buffy's lips again the girl put her hands behind the blonde's neck and kissed her passionately. Buffy tightened her arms around Willow's waist, lowering her onto the bed. They lay there in bed, still kissing, as their hands ran over each other's bodies. As a need to feel Buffy's skin against hers spread over her body Willow swiftly took off The Slayers shirt and bra. She took Buffy's breast in her hands and squeezed them softly, enjoying the feel of the girl's warm skin against her fingers. Buffy arched into the caress, groaning in pleasure. Soon they had successfully removed all of each others clothes. And as heir hands and lips roamed over each others bodies, exploring, caressing and learning, they made love for the first time.
A few hours later, after they had finished their lovemaking, they just snuggled into each other's bodies and drifted off to sleep, happy with the certain that they had finally found that part of themselves that they had been looking for their entire lives.