|Disclaimer: Okay... Babylon 5 and
its wonderful characters are not mine. They belong to J. Michael
Straczynski and Babylonian Productions. No profits are intended,
I just had to get this out of my head.
Comments, criticisms (and anything else that
may go throught your head) are welcome at CalR@wanadoo.fr
. If this piece has bored you to death or made you cringe please
tell me in order to stop my poisoning of the web with my
This is my first try at B5 fanfiction and it's
my first one in English. This short piece takes place after
Guess who are the protagonists? ;-)
What did I see?
The first time I met you, I only saw the badge, this
hateful golden plated greek letter plastered on your breast. The psi,
once symbol of the ancient greek god of the seas, is now tamished and
sullied by human-faced monsters like the svastika was three centuries
But most of us don't realise this, yet.
That day, I only saw that letter and all the things
hidden behind: the Cops, the black uniform, the propaganda, the drugs
and mama...her beautiful spirit crushed by the likes of you.
Harsh and cold...
The second time I met you, I saw your attitude, all
sharp coolness and icy coldness. The confident gait, the namrod straight
back, the shoulders thrown behind, and the arrogant bearing of your
head. Confident. Cold. Untouchable. More than the psi-dampening gloves
or the dreaded sign pinned on your chest, your attitude brought you up
among the many species found in the Zocalo. And therefore, it isolated
you, making you stand alone in a crowd of a quarter million of people.
The third time, I saw your body. Lengthy, almost bony,
your feminine curves ill-hidden under the conservative suit, your hips
swaying with each step you took, your flaxen straight hair cut in a well
fitting but old fashioned way. I saw a woman hiding her age and her
beauty under the cool appearance of a professional.
Later, I saw the spirit hidden under all those layers
of attitude and poise. I saw your uncertainty, your doubts about the
Corps, your inner fight against all that you were taught. And most of
all, I saw the solitude brought by your status, and the proudness you
took in accomplishing your job, unable as you were to decide if your
powers were either a gift or a curse.
I saw your eyes, grey-blue under the harsh lights of
the station, sometimes rimmed with tears and other times twinkling with
mirth but still with this ever present sadness deeply embedded in them.
I saw your shoulders slumped when you were tired, the
light spring in your pace when you where happy; I saw your smile bright
and joyous, taking years of your face. As if, far from your dark
masters, you were allowing yourself to be you for the first time.
It took me two years to see the human being and the
friend in you.
Finally, I saw that you loved me.
It took me long enought to understand that. And the
night I realised your feelings for me, that single night is burned in my
being more deeply than white-hot iron on living skin.
That night, I saw your heart and found out that you
have given it to me.
I never knew what you ever did see in me. I had never
tried to know you, but you were stubborn and relentless in your intent
to befriend me. Sometimes, my russian side whispers that it was the dark
sister hidden in your head that was responsible of your persistance,
because of my position. But I keep hoping that even if She wasn't there,
even if I wasn't the second in command of this station, you would have
still wanted to be with me.
The last time I met you was the day after that magical
night, and I only saw an empty shell. And Her, cold, disdainful. The one
I thought you were before I knew you.
Her words were so different of yours. Meant to hurt,
rip and destroy with uneerring accuracy. That day, I saw you dying and
could not do anything to prevent it.
And now you are not here anymore, your body has just
left the station, but your soul is gone hours before.
I saw the shuttle taking you away by the jumpgate,
and, as the yellow vortex disappeared, I realised that it was too late,
too late to see that I loved you...
I was blind. Oh god, I was so blind...
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